Wednesday, August 20, 2014

When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer

Couple years ago my mom told me that she has a breast cancer. Luckily the tumor was small when it was noticed and there were no metastases. Though the doctors told her, she was going to be fine, it was a tough period in our lives. 

That period has thought me a lot. Here are some of those life lessons.

1. Don't escape the reality. Face the uncomfortable and scary reality. Face and accept the fear. Don't hide and run away. Don't try to make it go away by filling your life with things. Feelings of sadness and anger are natural.

2. Turn to God. A great thing about having a relationship with our Heavenly Father is that you don't have to fake with him. You can be angry and throw a tantrum. He gives you comfort, the kind that can't be found in this world. I have learned that we except God to take away our mortality. We get upset when this does not happen. Well, he has given us an eternal life; leaving this earth is just a beginning.

3. Be supportive. It is scary for you but it's even scarier to actually be the on who is diagnosed. Give her/him space when she needs it but also be there when needed. Ask what she/he needs and wants. Don't assume, ask.

4. Be patient. Test results might take time. Treatments might take time. 

5. Tell people what's going on. I believe the worst thing you can do is to keep it as a secret. I experienced wonderful support from the people I told about my mom. Especially my boss (who couple years later passed away from cancer) was truly amazing. She made sure I was able to spend time with my mom before her treatments started. By telling people, you don't have to fake to be happy all the time. They'll understand if you're quiet or sad.

Have you faced a cancer of a loved one? How did you handle it?

Simple Moments Stick

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