Be a voice, not an echo

I found this wonderful quote:

A dude called Einstein said that. Pretty smart guy, right!

Justin Bieber Marriage Lessons - The Feeling

You might be feeling a bit confused now. Why on earth would I be writing about Justin Bieber? Well, let me tell yah!

Justin Bieber can actually make your marriage better!

The Feeling

I'm just going to come clean and say I've been listening to Justin Bieber's new album. There are couple songs, that have actually spoken to me. So much, in fact, that I knew  right away I had to write about them on my blog. 

In this post I'm going to talk about The Feeling. 

I believe that one of the biggest things, that leads to unhappy marriages and divorces, is that we are so fixated on the feeling. Love should feel good. And when it doesn't, we think it's not love. And if it's not love, what's the point staying together?

When a marriage is based on the feeling marriage is suppose to feel good and be easy. Your spouse is the one! The one who makes you feel good, who makes you happy. Loving him/her is not a chore and it comes easy. Feeling-based marriages don't require work, because love comes naturally. 

But the truth is, love is not easy - it doesn't come naturally. Love is not a feeling, love is a verb. Infatuation is a feeling.

Grass is not greener on the other side. It's green where you water it

I just love that! It illustrates love and relationships perfectly. Love means you water the grass under your feet. And what could that mean in real life, in your relationship? 

1. Make a decision to change your feeling-based marriage into a love-based marriage.

"I am in love with YOU. I am not in love with the FEELING"

2. Start to love. Practise how. Try to do it better everyday.

Be prepared to fail and love your spouse when he/she fails. You're only a human being. But consistently love him/her. Remember, love is a verb! Love your spouse even when you don't like him/her.

3. Remember, other people (read: your spouse) can't make you happy. They can love you.

It's pure stupidity to give up on love, when your spouse doesn't make you happy anymore. Did you say I do to "Do you promise to "love" him till the feeling fades away and he stops making you forget that you're not happy?" or "Do you promise to love him in sickness and in health?" 

What I love about love-based marriages is something my mom and dad have showed me. They've been married over 40 years! When you have a love-based marriage you might go through times when it's not fun and lovely to be with the other person. But when you love someone (VERB) feelings often come back too.

Undercover Jihadi Bride - 2016 Monthly Keyword Reading Challenge

March keywords: Game, fire, darkness, school, like, change

Because the keywords can be tweaked, I chose the word darkness. And the book I chose to read was Undercover Jihadi Bride.

I bought it from Kinokuniya, Singapore (I just love that book store) on our holiday there. And let me just say, I couldn't put it down. A true eye-opener. It really gave me an extra spark to do my best to help my own students to see how valuable and important they are.

Book overview

"Twenty-year-old ‘Mélodie’, a recent convert to Islam, meets the leader of an ISIS brigade on Facebook. In 48 hours he has ‘fallen in love’ with her, calls her every hour, urges her to marry him, join him in Syria in a life of paradise – and join his jihad.

Anna Erelle is the undercover journalist behind ‘Melodie’. Created to investigate the powerful propaganda weapons of Islamic State, ‘Melodie’ is soon sucked in by Bilel, right-hand man of the infamous Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. An Iraqi for whose capture the US government has promised $10 million, al-Baghdadi is described by Time Magazine as the most dangerous man in the world and by himself as the caliph of Islamic State. Bilel shows off his jeep, his guns, his expensive watch. He boasts about the people he has just killed.

With Bilel impatient for his future wife, ‘Melodie’ embarks on her highly dangerous mission, which – at its ultimate stage – will go very wrong … Enticed into this lethal online world like hundreds of other young people, including many young British girls and boys, Erelle’s harrowing and gripping investigation helps us to understand the true face of terrorism."