Are you sabotaging your marriage?

My husband and I have great conversations and we like to dig deep when it comes to issues like our relationship, personalities, habits etc. I'm a lucky girl, because my husband likes to talk to me and with me. He challenges me intellectually, and I love it.

We started to think how couples can sabotage their marriages. I've been thinking about this topic for couple months now. I've been reflecting my own habits and actions. I've also thought about the people around me. Now finally I decided to write this post. I'd love to hear your thoughts! 

1. We expect our husband to feel and think the same way as we do

2. We feel bitter when the hubby wants to spent time with his friends or has a hobby or a passion that does not include us

3. When he does something sweet, we remind him of the times he was an a-hole

4. We pressure him to speak 

5. We act like martyrs

6. We forget that we have different personality types

7. We forget that we have a different family background

8. We are disappointed when he doesn't act like you think a good husband does

9. We criticise him in front of your friends and family

10. We respect our parents' opinions more than his

11. We don't give him space

12. We want special date-nights and "do stuff together" when he just wants to take it easy and keep it simple

13. We rarely show contentment

14. We forget that we might not have a same love language

15. We act like we are his mom

16. We compare him to our friend's spouse, or to our dad, brothers, cousins...

17. We blame him for not making us happy

18. We expect him to read our minds

19. We think we have a same sex drive

20. We don't make an effort to get to know him deeply

Let's give someone a merry little Christmas

This will be the third year I'm going to participate in Joulupuu (Christmas tree) charity campaign here in Finland. The idea is to buy a Christmas gift to an unprivileged child or teenager. You pick a girl or boy and the age and then you buy a nice gift and the organisation will distribute the gifts.

I challenge you, my dear readers and fellow bloggers. Let's make a child's Christmas merrier!

What you can do? 

Here you can find couple examples of charity organisations that can help you to bring little joy to a child's life during Christmas.

Finland: Joulupuu-keräys

USA: Be An Elf

You could also google the Salvation Army's Christmas Present Appeal! Seems like a great program. 

Are you in?

Are you wasting your life on being busy?

In May I wrote a guest post on Blogs by Christian Women. I'd love you to check it out, because I've been thinking about priorities a lot lately - even from the blogging aspect. Also, write your thoughts there on the comment section; I'd love to hear from you.

My blog mentor:

Blog a Difference

When this blog was just a dream, I fell in love with an idea: blog a difference. Lately I've been wanting to go back to that. You might have noticed my posts about the Strong and Influential Sisterhood. I'd love to to tell you a bit more how this idea came be.

Make Blog a difference

After reading several blogs, I felt troubled and anxious. Then I ended up back to my own blog. This feeling doesn't go away. 

Why do I feel this way? What's going on? I love blogging. I love reading blogs. I love meeting new people behind the blogs. But now this whole thing, for some reason, makes me feel uneasy. 

I started to reflect. Here's a part from my notes. (Don't mind the spelling errrrrrors)

I realized what has been bothering me.


1. Propaganda

We bloggers write propaganda. We aim to make people think in a certain way. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but what if the thing we try to make people think is not good - or is meaningless.

In the worst scenario, this is what the blogger tries to make the reader think:

- Have yourself a merry little Christmas life. And you can do that with my tips.
- Think less. Look good.
- You should believe me and think my thoughts are significant, because I am a "big blogger".  


2. The time spent blogging

It takes a lot of time if you want to have a "good" blog. We create content and try to make it pretty. But is the content really worth the effort? Is the time well spent?


3. Was I meant for this?

I believe, I was created for a reason. Is that reason to write about  _____ (ad your own word) stuff on my blog. 



After this reflection I decided, I want to go back to my original idea: blog a difference. That's how the idea of the Strong & Influential Sisterhood started to form in my mind.

My blog mentor:

Linking up with: Let Your Light Shine Link UP Party

Against evil

When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer

Couple years ago my mom told me that she has a breast cancer. Luckily the tumor was small when it was noticed and there were no metastases. Though the doctors told her, she was going to be fine, it was a tough period in our lives. 

That period has thought me a lot. Here are some of those life lessons.

1. Don't escape the reality. Face the uncomfortable and scary reality. Face and accept the fear. Don't hide and run away. Don't try to make it go away by filling your life with things. Feelings of sadness and anger are natural.

2. Turn to God. A great thing about having a relationship with our Heavenly Father is that you don't have to fake with him. You can be angry and throw a tantrum. He gives you comfort, the kind that can't be found in this world. I have learned that we except God to take away our mortality. We get upset when this does not happen. Well, he has given us an eternal life; leaving this earth is just a beginning.

3. Be supportive. It is scary for you but it's even scarier to actually be the on who is diagnosed. Give her/him space when she needs it but also be there when needed. Ask what she/he needs and wants. Don't assume, ask.

4. Be patient. Test results might take time. Treatments might take time. 

5. Tell people what's going on. I believe the worst thing you can do is to keep it as a secret. I experienced wonderful support from the people I told about my mom. Especially my boss (who couple years later passed away from cancer) was truly amazing. She made sure I was able to spend time with my mom before her treatments started. By telling people, you don't have to fake to be happy all the time. They'll understand if you're quiet or sad.

Have you faced a cancer of a loved one? How did you handle it?

My boy, when you decide to come into this world, there are so many things I want you to know. They might sing this is a man's world, but what does it really mean to be a man. You, my boy, will be a man one day. But before that, I want to teach you something I've learned from some of the greatest men in this "man's world": my dad and your dad.

1. Stand up for the underdogs; this world needs people who are willing to love despite the consequences.

2. Being a man doesn’t mean you have to walk, talk, think and like in a certain way.

3. Courage is not toughness; to act in weakness and fear is.

4. Have principles and stand behind them.

5. Sometimes a man needs to cry; tough men fear feelings, courageous men face them. 

6. Be polite.

7. Help other people. 

8. Read.

9. Try to understand things instead of knowing things.

10. God is calling you to be his disciple. What an adventure!

My dear princess, when it's time for you to come into this world, I want you to know something. Something I've learned and am still learning.   

1. Stand up for the underdogs; this world needs people who are willing to love despite the consequences.

  

2. You can be the prettiest girl, but you can still feel like the ugliest one.

3. Don't trust your heart; question it. It's not always right.

4. Dream; great things are built on dreams.

5. Be polite.   

6. Be independent; don't follow blindly. Have your own opinions.

7. Don't date boys. Date the boy.

8. Be forgiving. 

9. Learn. 

10. Our Heavenly Father's love never fails; it covers everything and endures. 

Photo credits: Original photo by Danielle Moler. License: CC BY 4.0

blessings

From now on, if you see the sign above, you'll know that the post has something to do with my faith. I believe in a loving God who sent his son to die for me - because of my sins. If you don't feel comfortable reading about it, you don't have to. 

We often say "God bless you" to people but what do we mean? Are we asking God to give good and positive things? Probably yeah. 

Here's a definition according to dictionary.com:

A favor or gift bestowed by God, thereby bringing 
happiness.

Ok! So blessings are God's gifts and favors to us. This made me think: 

What kind of gifts and favors does our Heavenly Father want to give us?

After thinking about this, I came to this conclusion: God's idea of blessings are often different from ours.

"I have a great job! God has blessed me!"

"They don't have to worry about money. God has blessed them!"

"He is always healthy. God has blessed him!"

We see great things - we see God's blessings.

But Jesus said: 

Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,

for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness

for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful

for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart,

for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers

for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

(Matthew 5:1-12)

So it could be said that God thinks blessings are: Kingdom of heaven, comfort, inheriting the earth (read THIS to understand what it means), being filled with righteousness, being shown mercy, being able to see God, being called children of God and the reward waiting for us in heaven. 

Don't get me wrong, I do believe God can also give us great jobs, money and health BUT God values one thing much much MUCH more than our well-being here on earth.

God wants us to spend the eternity in heaven!

His greatest gift and favor to us is his all covering grace. We don't deserve heaven. There's nothing we can do to deserve it. But we can have it if we want to - just by believing in him and what He has done for us.

That has to be the greatest blessing ever!

My favorite Bible verse

There's something very encouraging in this verse (Isaiah 49:15-16) and it is beautifully written. I call it a message of hope.

What is your favorite verse?

Beth Moore's Whispers of Hope Giveaway

New year, new beginnings.

Icon Media Group asked me to write about Beth Moore's new book, Whispers of hope. I said yes with a big smile.

My smile got even bigger when I received my copy. The book is stunning. If you have read my blog for awhile you might have noticed that I love beautiful book covers. Like THESE.

I. Just. Love. Them.

Well, Whispers of Hope has a beautiful cover. It's just one of those books that looks good on your night table.

Questions and Answers

P.R.A.I.S.E

P: Praising God (What better way to start your day and your morning prayer than praising our loving Father.)

R: Repentance (Confess and repent your sins. You will be forgiven.)

A: Acknowledgement (Acknowledge God's love, power and wisdom AND give your life into his hands.)

I: Intercession (Pray for other people.)

S: Suplication for self (Pray for yourself.)

E: Equipping (Ask God to equip you to live for his glory today.)

I'm starting my ten-week prayer odyssey tomorrow. I want to give some of you a chance to start your own odyssey too.

I'm giving away one copy of Whispers of Hope. If you wish to enter this giveaway, you have to be my GFC or Bloglovin follower. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Prayer Challenge Day 31

This is the last Prayer Challenge day. Thank you for praying with me!

Today, let's pray for

Have a blessed year 2014! 

Prayer Challenge Day 30

Let's pray that we would 

Prayer Challenge Day 29

Let's pray for

Prayer Challenge Day 28

Let's pray for

Prayer Challenge Day 27

Let's pray for

Prayer Challenge Day 26

Let's ask that God would make us

Prayer Challenge Day 25

Merry Christmas! Today, instead of asking, let's say to God:

Prayer Challenge Day 24

Merry Christmas! To me, Christmas is a celebration of hope and love; God's divine rescue plan.

Let's spend this Christmas Eve praying for:

Prayer Challenge Day 23

Christmas can be difficult if you don't have anyone. It's such a family celebration. Let's pray for everyone who are spending this Christmas alone.