You might be feeling a bit confused now. Why on earth would I be writing about Justin Bieber? Well, let me tell yah!
Justin Bieber can actually make your marriage better!
I'm just going to come clean and say I've been listening to Justin Bieber's new album. There are couple songs, that have actually spoken to me. So much, in fact, that I knew right away I had to write about them on my blog.
In this post I'm going to talk about The Feeling.
I believe that one of the biggest things, that leads to unhappy marriages and divorces, is that we are so fixated on the feeling. Love should feel good. And when it doesn't, we think it's not love. And if it's not love, what's the point staying together?
When a marriage is based on the feeling marriage is suppose to feel good and be easy. Your spouse is the one! The one who makes you feel good, who makes you happy. Loving him/her is not a chore and it comes easy. Feeling-based marriages don't require work, because love comes naturally.
But the truth is, love is not easy - it doesn't come naturally. Love is not a feeling, love is a verb. Infatuation is a feeling.
Grass is not greener on the other side. It's green where you water it
I just love that! It illustrates love and relationships perfectly. Love means you water the grass under your feet. And what could that mean in real life, in your relationship?
1. Make a decision to change your feeling-based marriage into a love-based marriage.
"I am in love with YOU. I am not in love with the FEELING"
2. Start to love. Practise how. Try to do it better everyday.
Be prepared to fail and love your spouse when he/she fails. You're only a human being. But consistently love him/her. Remember, love is a verb! Love your spouse even when you don't like him/her.
3. Remember, other people (read: your spouse) can't make you happy. They can love you.
It's pure stupidity to give up on love, when your spouse doesn't make you happy anymore. Did you say I do to "Do you promise to "love" him till the feeling fades away and he stops making you forget that you're not happy?" or "Do you promise to love him in sickness and in health?"
What I love about love-based marriages is something my mom and dad have showed me. They've been married over 40 years! When you have a love-based marriage you might go through times when it's not fun and lovely to be with the other person. But when you love someone (VERB) feelings often come back too.